My mind works non-stop. Yes, like most people, duh. But the twist is that everything is just overflowing, overexplaining, talking over each other. Nothing really stand on its own. Everything is in a ball.
I like it and I don’t like it. It’s my mind, I know how it works at this point and I know how to work it. But damn if I wish I could reorganize everything. I could put labels and organize it like those pantry you see on Instagram or TikTok, where everything is coordinated, labeled, and on perfect display. I would just love it.
But then I sit and think about it really and would it still be me? Would I still be myself, if everything changed? the easy answer is no. But at the same time, I don’t wish to be anybody else. Yes I wish to be skinnier, smarter, less dramatic, but I would still be me. At the end of the day, I like my mind, is like one of those mega messy rooms but everything has a sense, you know? Of course the “junk” drawer in my brain is full of information I MIGHT need some day. Some day. Maybe never. But I hoard and cherish each and every single one of my thoughts.
I want to still be me, still my brain, maybe hoover simetimes? I don’t know. I like making metaphors, and seeing my mind as a mega room works, what can I say. Outside of that room there is also other doors and other rooms. I sit in a chair, circled by all these different doors and I pick and choose. fun no? I have a very creative mind. That’s it. I love my creative mind.
Perhaps, sometimes we wish for things to be different, but it wouldn’t be the same, wouldn’t it? And yes, always be the same and not changing, is not very much of a sign of being smart, but sometimes we do change, but still feel the same. I want my mind to feel like that. Like I can change, but it still feel the same. Makes it less scary, and I don’t want to be scared of that, I prefer watching horror movies if I am in search of a bit of a jump.
My mind will never stop, and I want to find comfort in that.